Conversations are meant to be enjoyable. They can be personal conversations with two to more persons on something of interest. However, many people are worried about engaging in conversations. They worry about whether they’ll be in a position to keep the conversation going or even about what they’ll discuss.
The art of keeping a conversation moving is a skill that many people today seem to be lacking. This unit will explain how to master this dying art and engage in constructive and enjoyable conversations with your friends.
How do you define Conversation?
The conversation is the act of talking to another person, typically informal. What makes it difficult? It was certainly not for the generation of our grandparents. Some critics have put the issue on the growing popularity of social media. Its focus on “broadcasting” and its emphasis on the “Me factor” does not make it less difficult.
However, all is not lost.
Conversational skills can not only be developed and learned; however, it’s also surprisingly simple to achieve this, particularly if you stick to certain guidelines.
Rules of Conversations
Rule #1: Conversation is a two-way process
The primary guideline of conversations is it’s not just focused on you. However, it’s certainly not only on the person in question. Monologues, in any direction, aren’t conversations. Make sure you strike a balance between speaking and listening to any conversation.
This is the place where social media is a problem. We’re familiar with broadcasting our opinions and responding when other users make comments. It can be a bit like the beginning of a discussion. However, when you’re in a face-to-face conversation, it’s rude to start by making your opinion known.
You can try asking a question to establish common ground. For instance:
“What is your plan?” or “Isn’t the weather gorgeous?”
This signalizes that you intend to continue the Conversation.
Top Tip for effective conversations
Everyone loves being listened to and asked to share their thoughts. If your Conversation seems to be slipping or you believe that you’re speaking more than you ought to and not getting the desired response, try asking: “What do you think about this?” If you are not getting any feedback, You can try: “But perhaps you don’t follow the current topic. What do you want to know about?”
Rule # 2: Be Kind and polite
Being friendly, smiling, and smiling will make a difference in terms of Conversation. Everybody would prefer to talk to people who are warm and welcoming. However, what exactly are the concrete aspects of this?
It is possible to build trust by finding common ground and then making a smile, and by using positive reaffirming body language.
Do not make negative remarks about anyone. The person you’re referring to maybe your friend’s top friend. Even if they’re not, the person you’re talking to might not be a fan of discussing the person behind their back (and not you!).
Be sure to stay clear of controversial subjects when you first meet.
It’s acceptable to discuss politics after you’ve become familiar with someone. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, however, it’s best to keep it neutral, so people often talk about the weather. This is where ‘small talk’ can be found. The importance of “Small talk” is generally insignificant chatter about minor or non-controversial issues like the weather, current jobs, or news stories. Some claim to dislike small talk as unimportant or irrelevant. However, it has an important purpose of helping to develop rapport and find the basis for a conversation without the need to inject excessive emotion into the Conversation. This is especially important for introverts.
If you are disappointed by anyone, you should not express your displeasure!
Bring conversations to a respectful end, perhaps with something along the lines of
“I should go out and find so-and-so before they leave. It was really nice to have a chat with you,”
“Please, please excuse me. I’ve promised to assist in x, and I can see that they require me now”.
Rule #3 – Respond to what they are saying
To truly respond to what someone has just spoken to you requires you to be attentive. It’s not enough to just shut off and consider what you’ll be able to respond to the next.
But, if we’re honest, most of us admit that we do exactly that. It’s essential to concentrate on the person you’re talking to, the words they’re using, and also their body expressions. If you’re finding it difficult to come up with something to use to respond, consider using a couple of “filler” phrases, like:
“That’s an amazing thing to think about. You’re making me think!”
“Goodness, it’s a challenge. I’ll have to consider this. I’ve never considered it this before in this way.”
It also gives you time to reflect on the topic at hand, and a nice thank you for the individual you’re talking with, and it is always a good thing.
Rule#4 – Use signals to assist the other person
If a conversation is running well, it naturally flows between the participants to the other. But, if either or both of them find it difficult to talk and talk, it might be beneficial to use “signals” to let the other person know that it’s their turn to speak.
The most commonly used signal is to ask questions. Open questions, particularly let the Conversation available to another person and invite the other person to join in. In Conversation, they are commonly called invitations. Open questions begin with ‘How’ …?’ or “Why …. ?’
Rule #5: Create emotional connections during conversations
Of course, it’s possible to engage in conversations solely in the form of small Conversations, with nothing of significance being said. Conversation can also be a means to discover if you would like to get to know someone more and develop a connection with them.
Therefore, it is beneficial to learn how to utilize conversations to establish and strengthen emotional connections. It is crucial to share the pertinent details. This means you must be transparent about what interests you, what draws you as an individual and inspire your partner to share.
Tips for Success!
Sharing doesn’t need to be huge. It could be as easy as:
“It’s amazing to be able to enjoy this glorious sunshine. It allowed me to go canoeing on the weekend, and we had an incredible paddle.”
The field is left wide open for the other party to add:
“Oh, do you canoe? I was a paddler too. Where did you canoe?”
“Yes, it’s beautiful weather. I took my walk. It’s wonderful to be outdoors and walk around, isn’t it?”
“I am a bit irritable in the heat, but my children loved taking the paddling pool.”
Different responses, but each one has an emotional connection to the other person and maintains the Conversation.
If you are interested, and you will become Interesting
You could summarize these ideas into one concept:
You are likely to engage in conversation if you’re attracted to people and your surroundings.
That, in turn, can make conversations flow because you’ll really desire to learn more about someone else and will be able to add to the conversation with your curiosity about the world.
However, when you don’t pay attention to anything other than yourself, you’ll end up being rather boring, and others won’t be eager to have discussions with you. Beware!
In next unit we will discuss in detail about Non-verbal communication, a must have ability to master interpersonal communication skills.