How to Respond to Rude People: Phrases for Calm, Assertive Communication & Conflict Resolution
Discover time tested phrases to handle rude people calmly & assertively.
Have you ever been caught off guard by a rude comment? I certainly have, and it’s never a pleasant experience. Recently, I was at a food store when someone made a snide remark to me, and it made me really think.
It became clear that staying calm and knowing how to respond are vital skills. After that experience, I decided to learn and share effective strategies to handle rude remarks while keeping your cool.
Key Takeaways:
- Keep Calm is Key: Staying composed diffuses conflict and often leads to a more positive outcome.
- Polite Responses are Powerful: Mature, non-reactive responses often make the other person feel ashamed of their rudeness.
- Clear Communication is Important: Expressing your feelings clearly, and respectfully, can prevent future rude behavior.
The Magic of “Thank You”
You might be surprised at how a simple “thank you” can make a big difference. I learned this firsthand when a colleague rudely refused to share their computer. Instead of getting upset,
I just said, “It’s okay, thank you.” I could literally feel the shift in the situation. It showed that their words didn’t affect me and it was their loss! My calm, polite answer revealed their rudeness and showed I chose not to get affected.
This mature reaction often creates a sense of shame in the person who is rude. This simple phrase allows you to step away without engaging in further negativity.
“I Appreciate Your Perspective, But…”
Navigating comments about your choices can be tricky. I’ve faced criticism for my career as a life skills coach.
At a family party, an uncle commented, “Why are you a teacher? We don’t need them anymore.”
Instead of becoming defensive, I responded, “Sir, I appreciate your perspective, but teachers are the ones who made the doctors do, isn’t it?”
Here’s why this phrase works so well:
- Acknowledge: Start by respecting their opinion.
- Transition: Then redirect the conversation toward your viewpoint using “but.”
- Polite Yet Assertive: You’re making a statement without sounding rude or aggressive.
You can use this technique when others make comments about your career, religion, appearance, or anything else that makes you feel uncomfortable.
“I Think We Should Stop This Conversation Now”
Sometimes, you can see when a conversation is about to escalate. There are times, during those moments, when you really want to have a big angry reaction.
I felt this way after my uncle continued to criticize me after my polite response, however, I knew that would not be a good idea. That’s when I would use “I think we should stop this conversation now.” It’s better to pause the discussion than saying something I would regret later.
This helps to:
- Defuse Tension: The phrase helps the conversation come to a quick end, before it becomes too heated.
- Preserve Relationships: It allows you to not “burn any bridges”.
- Maintain Composure: Prevents you from saying something that might create long term issues.
“These Words Hurt My Feelings”
Body shaming or other personal attacks can be incredibly hurtful. If someone says something offensive about your weight, for example, don’t hesitate to say, “These words really hurt my feelings. Please don’t say it again.”
| Why this works | Key benefit |
|---|---|
| Clear and direct | Let the person know exactly how they made you feel |
| Prevents future comments | Protects you from facing these comments in the future |
| Assertive and Self respecting | You’re setting boundaries and self-respect. |
By being direct, you’re letting them know how their words affected you, which often discourages future rude remarks.
The Power of Saying “You’re Right”
As someone who loves to debate, I have learned the power of saying “you’re right” in an argument. When there’s truth in someone’s words, admitting it is better.
I practice eating the frog, which is a figure of speech. It literally means I just get on with it instead of creating unnecessary friction. This can completely change the dynamic of a tense conversation.
It’s not about conceding defeat; it’s about acknowledging a point and moving forward. Most often, people simply feel satisfied that they “won” the argument and move on.
“I Love You” (and a Warm Kiss!)
In a relationship, the classic “I’m sorry” doesn’t always cut it. If you have an argument with a partner, try saying “I love you” instead.
This tactic has proved extremely useful to me. Adding a warm kiss will definitely disarm them. It melts them right away and it is often better than just saying “I am sorry”.
This is a tried and tested phrase but be careful on when and who you use it on. Obviously, not a great idea for your boss.
When All Else Fails, Laugh!
If you’re still stuck in a heated argument, sometimes the best thing to do is laugh. Yes, laugh!
It sounds counterintuitive, but it often leaves the other person baffled. According to a study published in “The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,” laughter can diffuse tension and change the tone of a conflict.
Sometimes, they might even realize that they said something wrong and may apologize. Laughter is a powerful tool for saving yourself from unnecessary stress.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with rude people isn’t fun, but knowing how to react will make it easier.
Remember these phrases: say thank you, “appreciate your perspective,” end the conversation, share your feelings, admit when someone’s right, show love to your loved ones, and when everything else fails, use laughter.
Most importantly, keep your cool and be the best version of you. By using these techniques, you’ll not only protect yourself but also handle these situations more effectively and gracefully.
I hope these ideas are as beneficial to you as they have been for me! Please share your thoughts with me and keep reading EQ4C articles.
